Don't Waste Your Singleness

To do: write -  I've been listing that on my daily schedule for weeks. But lately, I've found that most of my emotional and physical energy have been spent on living and there's just not much left for writing. And when I do need to write, it's in my journal, for the Lord's eyes alone. This can lead me to feel a certain amount of guilt because I really feel like God has called me to write. However, I'm aware that there are some opportunities in front of me that will only be here for a moment, so I must choose wisely.

"Be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil." - Ephesians 5:15-16

When I think about making the most of my time, I think about my life and see:
I work with people. I live with people. I am related to a lot of people. 

People take time. People need time. People deserve time. 

I've come to realize that regardless of how I feel, people are my calling...and they are yours too, if you are a Christ follower. Making the most of my time will mean redeeming the time with people.

some of the sweet college girls I work with

this weekend, I sat on the backyard swing and sang along with Addie

we also hit up "Chimpanzees" with precious little Megan

Where do I get that idea? Well, Jesus modeled it. He lived in close community with His twelve disciples for three years and He spent His days teaching, healing and interacting with lots of people. Jesus was no hermit. He lived in almost continual contact with the world.

Jesus also spent a lot of time talking about this principle:

"The second (greatest commandment) is like it, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'" - Matthew 22:39.  

"Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." - Matthew 28:19-20


"Treat others the same way you want them to treat you. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same...but love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful." - Luke 6:31-33, 35


Christians aren't here on earth just to enjoy life or bide their time waiting for Christ's return, we are here to live in relationship with those around us and through that interaction, display our relationship with our heavenly Father. 

Courtney in a Bratcher sister sandwich, modeling Ugandan beads for an upcoming show

I have heard the caution that the longer one remains single, the more they will have to fight against selfishness.The idea is that singles can become so accustomed to doing things their way that their personal preference and comfort become the driving forces of their lives. This version of the selfish single is independent, frivolous and contributing absolutely nothing to the kingdom of God. That life is incompatible with the life Christ has called us to live and is the antithesis of what Paul wrote that Christian singleness should be: 

"But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband." - 1 Corinthians 7:32-34

One of the biggest benefits of being single should be the undivided affection we have for Jesus. 

And it is this affection that redirects my use of time from mindless to mindful. I am His -  my time is His, my gifts are His, my energies are His; let me then use them all for Him! 

recent trip to the McDonald Observatory in Ft. Davis...magical sunset

The last post that I wrote included the truth that all believers - both single and married - are united in the call of Christ. We are living the same command  - "You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and with all your mind" - in different contexts...and that is true. But it is within these contexts that we find different responsibilities and expectations.

As singles, we have a unique opportunity to spend ourselves more freely than our married friends. Remember this passage from John Piper's book, What's the Difference? Manhood and Womanhood Defined According to the Bible? It made it's first appearance on this blog in 2009, in the first entry published. It remains one of my favorite exhortations:

My earnest desire and prayer for you is:

That you step back and plan the various forms of your life's ministry in chapters. Chapters are divided by various things - age, strength, singleness, marriage, employment, children at home, children in college, grandchildren, retirement, etc. No chapter has all the joys. Finite life is a series of trade-offs. Finding God's will, and living for the glory of Christ to the full in every chapter is what makes it a success, not whether it reads like somebody else's chapter or whether it has in it what only another chapter will bring.

That you be totally committed to ministry, whatever your specific calling; that you not fritter your time away on soaps or women's magazines or unimportant hobbies or shopping; that you redeem the time for Christ and His Kingdom.That if you are single, you exploit your singleness to the full in devotion to God and not be paralyzed by the desire to be married.
That you develop a wartime mentality and lifestyle; that you never forget that life is short, that billions of people hang in the balance of Heaven and Hell every day, and that the love of money is spiritual suicide, that the goals of upward mobility (nicer clothes, cars, houses, vacations, food, hobbies) are a poor and dangerous substitute for the goals of living for Christ with all your might and maximizing your joy in ministry to people's needs. (pp.72-78)

This season holds incredible potential. I see it as a time of investing - both in my relationship with Christ and in my relationships with others. Contrary to popular opinion, being single doesn't mean that you live alone. In fact, I think there is strong evidence that the Christian single is meant to be the heart of the Christian community -  loving, serving and ministering to the body of Christ in ways that married believers can't (and shouldn't). 

Undivided affection for Christ will lead us to unselfish service to His bride. 

I want to encourage every single reading this to become actively involved in a local, Christ-following body of believers. It is there that you will find opportunities to both bless and be blessed, encourage and be encouraged, invest and be invested in. Don't waste your singleness; use it for the glory of God and the strengthening of His people!

Not Defined, but Refined.

My singleness does not define me. It is a part of me, but it is not all of me.  It took me a long time to get that,  a long time before I could see singleness as more than just an embarrassing tagline to my identity - "I'm Maurie and I'm single." It was embarrassing to me because I saw singleness as an impairment to fully embodying what it meant to be a Christian woman because that was synonymous with being a wife and mother. It seemed to be an unspoken truth that being single denoted second-class spiritual citizenship.

My mom & 2 sisters at baby brother's baseball game

I have come to see that this is not so. And more than that, I have come to understand that every Christ-follower has the same purpose. The aim of each of our lives - single, married, widowed, divorced - is to "love the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind." Jesus said, "This is the first and greatest commandment," Matthew 22:37-38. We are living out the same command within different contexts. 

Allie's Sperry's.

I don't see my life as discovering how to be a single woman who loves God. I see it as discovering how to love God with all that I have and all that I am and exercising that within whatever life context I find myself. I would rather people know me as a woman who loves God and is single than as a single woman who loves God. Do you hear the difference? Maybe I am just being dogged, but I think there is a distinction. I don't want my singleness to be primary, I want Jesus to be. 

Rhett on the field

Scripture is clear about the fact that there are no categorizations with God. Heaven has no caste system. Paul wrote to the Galatians, "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus." 

Addie and my mom arrive; I play paparazzi. 

My singleness does not define me, but it refines me. It is my current gift. It is my present station. And there is something to be learned, some blessing to be received, some ministry to fulfill in it. It is the means through which I am knowing and making Him known. It is neither greater than or less than any other station...it is what I have been given for this moment. It is God's will and His good pleasure. 

Rhett in the dugout

Don't be obsessed with your singleness; be obsessed with your Savior. That's something worth being known for. 

I'd love to hear from you. You can reach me at: maurie@onesinglevoice.com

Bits & Pieces

So, I had some great intentions to write more this week. But my good intentions have led nowhere. Since my recent acquisition of a smart phone, I have been Instagraming a LOT. Instagram is, btw, just a photo diary of sorts. It is not new, but since I am fairly inexperienced in the technology department, I just feel cool knowing about it. LOL...you guys know what that means, right? ;)

Here is what has been happening in my life:
Photo shoots. I have always taken pictures, but lately I have taken more than usual. I decided to give each of my siblings a photo shoot this year. It has been so much fun. Each shoot is styled after the individual sibling I am photographing...I have completed two of the shoots - only five to go! :) SMH.

Vitamins. Remember when I turned 28 and decided that it was time to make some grown-up decisions? Well, it seems that my body has decided that I am not old enough for such a decision. Every time I take one (with a meal like the bottle recommends), I get sick. It is rather inconvenient and embarrassing to almost throw up every time I pop some nutrients, so I had to buy a pill splitter. If you are under 75 years of age, you have no idea what I'm talking about, but I bought one. And then, just because I was feeling extra geriatric, I bought a pill case to carry in my purse. Not kidding. ROFL.

Wrinkle Cream. I think it's working. Yesterday, one of my college students asked how old I was and then gasped in disbelief when I answered and said, "I thought you were only 24 or 25." Vindication. ♥

look at my eyes...no wrinkles!

Tim Tebow. He's coming to see me. And he's bringing with him Switchfoot, Jimmy Needham and Trip Lee {NBD}. It will be an intimate gathering of about 20,000 and I can't wait!

Brownies. I made brownies tonight. I made them in a hurry. I may have stirred them a few more times than necessary. And they turned out more like cake than brownies. That seems really devastating to me right now. I'll get over it...maybe. WE.

You Look Like. I've discovered that when you tell a person, "you really look like..." it always ends poorly. Because everyone has an idea of who they look like and that someone is always better looking than they actually are. So when someone told me a couple weeks ago that I looked just like Lady Liberty, I just didn't know what to say, but I later told Millie that being compared to an inanimate object really takes the cake for poor compliments. YOLO.

my twin?

That's basically it, guys. Riveting, I know. TTYL.

New Things

This is a post filled with some new things I am enjoying this week. I feel like I've hit the musical jackpot. So many incredible cds filled with deep thoughts that lead to worship. I highly recommend ALL of these:

CNock...you can't go wrong, but this is extra wonderful.

I listened to this EP non-stop leading up to impARTial...when I felt choked with what needed to be done, it reminded me that only one thing is truly necessary and it helped me breathe Him in.

Am I the last person on earth to discover her? She is wonderful, with thoughtful lyrics and a cool style. Check her out. 

me last year around this time, modeling the flower.

Bangs: I got 'em. I loved 'em. I got over 'em. And then I worked for months and months at getting them to re-integrate into my hair. And now, I have bang fever. Everyone else is doing it again...should I?

Sally Hansen, coral reef

I found this color, bought it on a whim and LOVE it. It is bright, summery and fresh...it will make you feel instantly like you are on vacation, all for $2.47. Not bad. 

In other news, we have a bridal shower happening this weekend. Lots of joy to be shared and maybe a few tears to be shed because the beautiful bride will be moving away from us in just a few short weeks. 

The Estroden has been completely decorated for spring. It looks so happy.

 I bought 10 new books the other day after making myself vow not to buy another one until all my current books have been read...help me; I'm weak around books. 

I've rocked the bun twice this week...I need a hairstylist.

Here's to hoping that you are all enjoying good music, stylish hair and fun nails this week!

What a Proverbs 31 Woman Needs...

this post is filled with pics from my Instagram that have nothing to do with the topic.

This all started a couple weeks ago in our Community Group Bible study. We had been going through the book of Proverbs and we all knew exactly where it was going to end...chapter 31. For women, this chapter can sometimes feel like a measuring stick that proves that we're all incompetent, insufficient and unworthy. "The Perfect Woman" could be another title for this chapter - and all the ladies in the group were apprehensive about it. We decided to make the situation even more interesting/awkward by asking the guys of the group to lead discussion that week. We promised that we would be open and receptive to what they wanted to share from the chapter and we would not take offense at whatever exhortation they wanted to share.

They were less than thrilled with this prospect. I fear the guys all heard that invitation as, "We're laying a trap for you. You must either tell us how wonderful and godly we are and how you believe that this chapter is a prophecy that we're fulfilling or you can tell us how much we have to work on to reach this standard, in which case we will pounce on your arguments, turn them around and devour you with them."

my brother Robbie with our new dog/niece Marlie.

I assure you, this was not the case. But I did start thinking...we have Proverbs 31, The Perfect Christian Woman, but shouldn't we have a Proverbs 32 as well? You know, as a complement, maybe entitled,  The Perfect Christian Man?

The more I thought about it, the more intrigued/obsessed I became with the idea. I mean, let's be real - it's not just anybody who deserves Miss Proverbs 31. She isn't ordinary...and the guy who gets her shouldn't be either. So, where's the guide for men?  Where is chapter 32?!

And then it hit me. The book of Proverbs is a book of wisdom, spoken by Solomon to his son. It is essentially a guide to godly manhood. The whole book is written for men, all the chapters teaching principles about integrity, industriousness, sexuality and stewardship. There are warnings about what happens to those who leave the path of the upright and follow after their own desires. And at times, it seems like Solomon is pleading with his son to walk in these proverbs:

Listen (consent and submit) to the words of the wise, and apply your mind to my knowledge;For it will be pleasant if you keep them in your mind [believing them]; your lips will be accustomed to [confessing] them.So that your trust (belief, reliance, support, and confidence) may be in the Lord, I have made known these things to you today, even to you.Have I not written to you excellent things in counsels and knowledge,To make you know the certainty of the words of truth, that you may give a true answer to those who sent you? - Proverbs 22:17-21, The Amplified Bible

Family Seder

After I realized this, I took a step back and looked again at Proverbs 31. Understanding the context of the book, it's apparent that the chapter is not directed at women as the measuring stick of godly womanhood, but rather, it provides guidelines for men who are choosing wives. Proverbs 31 was written to men. This doesn't mean that there aren't many lessons for women to glean from this chapter, because there are! But I realized that for every female characteristic, there is a male counterpart. Let's look at some of her characteristics:

"The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not harm, all the days of her life." - Prov. 31:11-12


"Many a man proclaims his own loyalty, But who can find a trustworthy man? A righteous man who walks in his integrity— How blessed are his sons after him." - Prov. 20:6-7
A godly man is a man of integrity...and he chooses a woman who is trustworthy. 

"An excellent wife, who can find? 
For her worth is far above jewels." - Prov. 31:10 

"How blessed is the man who finds wisdom And the man who gains understanding. For her profit is better than the profit of silver And her gain better than fine gold. She is more precious than jewels; And nothing you desire compares with her. Long life is in her right hand; In her left hand are riches and honor." - Proverbs 3:13-16

A godly man desires wisdom over riches...and he chooses a wise woman.

She looks for wool and flax 
And works with her hands in delight. 

She is like merchant ships; 
She brings her food from afar. 
She rises also while it is still night 
And gives food to her household 
And portions to her maidens...  

She looks well to the ways of her household, 

And does not eat the bread of idleness. - Prov. 31: 13-14, 27

"The sluggard craves and gets nothing, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied." - Prov. 13:4

"A sluggard does not plow in season; so at harvest time he looks but finds nothing." - Prov. 20:4

"The sluggard's craving will be the death of him, because his hands refuse to work. All day long he craves for more, but the righteous give without sparing." - Prov. 21:25-26

A godly man is a hardworking man...and he chooses a woman who is industrious.

"She extends her hand to the poor, 
And she stretches out her hands to the needy."  - Prov. 31:20

One who is gracious to a poor man lends to the LORD, And He will repay him for his good deed. - Prov. 19:17
He who is generous will be blessed, For he gives some of his food to the poor. - Prov. 22:9

A godly man is generous to those in need...and chooses a woman who is open-hearted in her giving.

She girds herself with strength 
And makes her arms strong... 

Strength and dignity are her clothing, 

And she smiles at the future. - Prov. 31:17, 25

A wise man is strong, And a man of knowledge increases power. For by wise guidance you will wage war, And in abundance of counselors there is victory.- Prov. 24:5-6

If you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength!...for though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again, but the wicked are brought down by calamity. - Prov. 24:11,16, NIV

A godly man perseveres...and chooses a woman of resilience.

She opens her mouth in wisdom, 
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.  - Prov. 31:26

Gentle words are a tree of life; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit. - Prov. 15:4To flatter friends is to lay a trap for their feet. - Prov. 29:5

A godly man prizes truth over flattery...and chooses a woman who speaks words of life.

Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, 
But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. - Prov. 31:30

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; 
Fools despise wisdom and instruction.- Prov. 1:7
A godly man reveres the LORD...and chooses a woman whose heart belongs to Him.


When we survey this chapter in light of the entire book of Proverbs, it becomes apparent that chapters 1-30 are outlining what kind of character a man must have if he is going to obtain a Proverbs 31 woman. She is to be his exact complement, not his trophy. This woman is a true partner to her husband - walking, working, serving, growing and fighting alongside him, not behind him and not instead of him.

my sister Allie's cherub ring on my finger...she likes strange things.

me wearing my EmersonMade flower on Easter. Remember this?

me and some of my sisters

I pray that our churches are filled with women who exemplify Proverbs 31 and with men who have made it their aim to earn their affections and respect.

You can reach me at: maurieonesinglevoice@gmail.com

impARTial

It's been a long time since I've written and that's because it's been a long time since I have had time to sit down without letters to cut out, photographs to edit or fishing line strung all across my living room. What have I been doing, you ask? I have been spearheading an effort on the campus of our local university that started with the question, "Who is Jesus?" This event coincided with Easter and served as a way for the college students I work with to begin spiritual conversations with their peers.

Here's how we did it:
We bought a bunch of white boards.
We set up a table on campus.
We asked if students were willing to write down on the whiteboard who Jesus was to them.
We took pictures of them holding their whiteboard.
We took all the pictures (over 150 of them) and built an art installation on campus.
We invited everyone back to check it out and throughout the exhibit shared the gospel.

The hardest part about the entire project was that it started as a vision...a God-breathed vision to use art and words together as an invitation into deep conversation about Christ and Easter and what life truly means. College students love freedom of speech and freedom of expression and I knew that we could tap into those desires and turn them into a discussion of true freedom - life in Jesus Christ. But between vision and reality lies a great chasm and it takes a lot of work to figure out how to bridge that divide and enter the promised land. My student leaders helped me refine my vision - what started out as something like, "Let's build something...I don't know what...there should be photographs...maybe with a hidden picture inside them... inkblots...interactive gallery...Easter...Jesus..." turned out to be the project outlined above.

It wasn't easy.
I had some moments...I stopped sleeping, talking and seeing the humor in things.
I worried that it would be a flop.
I doubted whether it would all come together.
I wondered why vision was so uncertain, why it was impossible to nail down and perfectly execute.
And then I realized that vision is an invitation to walk in faith, not knowing exactly what lies ahead but believing that whatever it is, it could be deeper and sweeter and fuller than the present reality.

I walked, not knowing where I was headed or what it would like like when I got there and arrived at Tuesday night. And then this happened:

our gallery with "Who do you say that I am?" strung across the ceiling

the Transparent exhibit, pictures printed on vellum

the Projection exhibit, featuring composite images of 8 students

the white boards on these prints were replaced with poster and students who traveled through the exhibit were invited to write on them

the building from the outside

me and my student leaders, so very blessed.

The impARTial project succeeded, not because of our talent or hard work, but because of our obedience to follow where He was leading. The vision He gave me was a call to trust, to step beyond what I could even articulate into what only He could orchestrate. I discovered that when I am unable, He enables, and that sacred is found within scared.


What is He calling you to do? What vision has He placed within your heart? Don't hesitate. Follow. It's worth it.